By Cassie Wingfield
Marketing Coordinator
SPARC Hope
We often hear about all of the struggles and hardships that come with being a single parent. There are many, so this is understandable. But too often we focus on the negative aspects instead of looking for the positive side of things (and yes, there is a positive side of single parenting). I have been a single mom for over seven years, and I would like to share some of the positive things that I have learned along the way.
1. Maturity
Becoming a mother at the age of 24, I did not feel like an adult yet. My relationship ended not even a year later and it hit me that I was going to be a single parent. I never imagined in a million years that I would be a single mom. I always assumed I would be married with kids, taking care of the home… all of that fairytale, Lifetime movie kind of stuff. Reality forced me to grow up and to grow up fast. I had to learn how to do a lot of things on my own. I also had to learn how to ask for help when I needed it. It didn’t happen all at once, but becoming a single parent really helped me to mature. Don’t get me wrong, I still get to act like a big kid, playing games and partaking in children’s activities with my daughter, but parenting has turned me into a responsible adult.
2. Relationship with my daughter
Outside of the first few months of my daughter’s life, I have only ever known parenting as a single mom. I will say that one positive aspect of single parenting is the bond that you share with your child. My daughter and I are a team. When we spend time together we have our things like “Mommy daughter adventure days” or “Taco picnics in the car”. And when she spends time with her dad they have their own things. Maybe it is no different for two parent households, but I love how close my daughter and I have become and I enjoy every second we spend together.
3. Financial Responsibility
This did not happen over night, and I still struggle at times. But before I became a parent, I had no idea how to budget. Children are expensive, and raising a child on a single income is hard. You have to learn to be financially responsible, and I am so glad for all of the lessons this has taught me. Now being financially responsible does not mean that you will be wealthy, but I did learn how to budget what I could and could not afford. I learned that my expenses cannot exceed my income. That you can budget for fun activities and toys. I am not sure if I would have learned these things if I wasn’t forced to when I became a single mom.
4. Independence & Strength
This is a big one. Becoming a single mom taught me how to be independent. I had a flat tire and had to pick my daughter up from day care, so I learned how to change a tire. My daughter needed medical insurance, I learned all about insurance companies. I didn’t have money to eat out all of the time, so I learned how to cook. I cooked, I cleaned, I did the yard work, bath time, bed time, you name it. And somedays it is hard, really hard. But the harder something is to do, the stronger it makes us. And the more accomplished we feel afterwards. Parenting is the hardest job there is and usually you have a partner to tag in. That is why single parents are some of the strongest people you will ever meet.
So you see, being a single parent isn’t easy, but personally, it has still been the most amazing and rewarding experience of my life. I would not be the person I am today if my life had gone differently. My daughter would not be the amazing little girl she is if her life had gone differently. She is loved beyond measure and is a blessing to others. So maybe parenting hasn’t turned out the way I planned, but God has used it for the greater good.
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Check out some of our other blog posts here, for tips and tricks for single parents, budget hacks, inspiration and more information about what we do here at SPARC Hope.