It’s all about stressing less but seeing results.

Here are a few simple New Year Resolutions that we may want to consider for this year. These are achievable and can improve our quality of life. After all, isn’t that the whole point of making resolutions in the first place? Most resolutions are about trying to become the best version of ourselves, but that doesn’t have to mean our size, or the things that we own.

1) Start appreciating life.

There have been seasons of my life where I felt so unlucky. I felt like bad things always happened to me. The smallest things could ruin my day, like my lunch order being wrong, or even just getting stuck in traffic. Those things aren’t fun, but they shouldn’t ruin a whole day.

Did you know that you can train your brain into thinking you are lucky? Every time something good happens, no matter how small, say to yourself (out loud) “I am so blessed” (or lucky). At first this needs to be intentional, but our brains learn from experience. The more you consciously put your attention on & acknowledge those moments where things are working out for you, your brain learns from these experiences. You will soon begin to subconsciously believe, by default, that things do go your way. With that belief, your brain is going to start subconsciously seeking out more of those moments where things are working out for you, and you will notice them more. This will put you in the mindset to appreciate more of the little things. After all, isn’t life just a combination of all of the little moments?

2) Try something new.

This one is so simple but so important, especially for single parents. We let being a single parent become a big part of our identity. When I am introducing myself or describing myself to someone, after my name, the first thing I say is “I’m a single mom”. While being a mom is the greatest gift I have ever been given, it is not all of who I am.

We have to intentionally find things that WE like to do, NOT just things our kids like to do. How will we figure out what we like to do if we don’t try new things?

A few years ago, I got an inflatable kayak at a bargain store, mainly just because it was a great deal. But the first time I took it out on the water, I was hooked. Kayaking was a passion I never knew I had. And I would have never experienced that joy had I not tried something new. Now, I own a “real” kayak and 2 inflatables (for friends to join) and kayaking is one of my favorite past times. All from trying something new, one time.

3) Be Present with your children.

This is one I struggle with at times. It can be difficult to be truly present when we have so many distractions in the palm of our hand. Single parenting is busy; we work, we tend to the kids, we cook, we clean, etc. BUT many of us are splitting our time with our kids when we share custody. Our kids are growing up fast. We only get so many years with them until they grow up and live their own lives, and if you split custody, you only get half of that time. So, make the time that you have with them count. Put the phone down. Turn the TV off. Connect with your children, do activities together, talk with them about their day, spend quality time with them. No distractions.

In Conclusion…

What have we learned? Single parenting is hard. We need to make time for ourselves, we need to take advantage of the time that we have with our kids, and we need to appreciate the little things. In my experience, being intentional about these 3 things, has made a huge impact in my life. As a result, my quality of life has improved immensely.

By: Cassie Wingfield

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